About Me- Dana Elaine Carroll
Being born in the mid-80s, I have lived through the pre-Internet era of television, newspapers, and radio stations as a means of widespread communication. These outlets are narrow clubs for a few to share their voices and connect to audiences. Thankfully, there are now amazing platforms for storytelling, and less excuses to not try. With that, I would like to introduce myself and shoot my shot.
Hello Medium! My name is Dana. I am a writer (I have learned that it is important to remove the word “aspiring” from that title).
The first time that I called myself a writer was about three decades ago. Scampering about in my parents’ apartment in Leimert Park, I would always take a book, a notepad, a scrap paper, a page from my mom’s journals, anything really, and write stories and draw pictures to share with friends — real and imaginary alike. My folks would call me “Madame Secretary” due to my habit of carrying around writing tools constantly — for jotting notes down (in their context).
When the adults would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I flipped through a few occupations over the years — with the tagalong that I would also write books. “I would like to own a greeting card company”, seven year old me said. “I will own a business,” at eight. I always wanted to create something that would be the fine balance of personal and expressive while still of use to others. The “of use to others” clause has often stopped me in my tracks when it comes to writing, as I could not see how to accomplish this as my silly weird self.
As such, I have spent many years in pursuit of careers that had nothing to do writing, because of course, that is what one does when they fail to combat the fear of failure and other maladies of the mind. Some nights, I would toss and turn with these thoughts: if I could publish something of note, then I could die happy, feeling that I served my purpose. Maybe this fatalistic thinking is part of the problem, where achieving my goal gets associated with death. There is also the issue of elevating the art of writing to be some grand audacious dream that would be impossible to bring forth in the waking world. Also, how many people really want to be a starving artist? Bills cannot be sated by dreams — not immediately.
In any case, I have postponed serious efforts to write professionally in favor of working in far too many other industries. Some of my jobs were just for a steady paycheck, and others were positions that chased a middling degree of interest. My pattern recognition has very recently realized that I hop around due to: 1) wages that do not match the cost of living, 2) declining mental stimulation after passing the learning curve of a job, and 3) some form of mental, physical, or spiritual breakdown. One may also find that if they carry any sense of justice, you will be betrayed by the absolute and creeping corruption that can be found in practically every organization that is ran by humans. Being neurodivergent and a mom, these issues can break one’s will to perform in the current zeitgeist of our capitalistic strong arming organizations that favor relentless workloads and ignore employee burnout.
I’ve done retail, post production animation, non-profit administration, government paper-pushing, public speaking, political work, social work, sold sex toys, cared for the elderly, and now I do massage therapy full time. Almost always, I have been promoted in these jobs to some sort of manager or assistant overseer.
When I am not laboring, I actually love living life — and I am thrilled that I am able to say that now, as that has not always been the case. I have explored many pursuits in the interest of trying to do the most with the time that I have, and to do so completely. Maybe it’s the gamer in me that wants to unlock as many achievements as I can while I am in this particular form of existence.
Hobbies are the only thing that I have explored more than career options. My hypothesis is that everything looks so fun, and there is not enough time to do all the things, but I will try in earnest. Creative writing is one of the only constant interests that has held my attention, but there are many other activities or interests that I have actively participated in. I’ve done belly dance classes. I bought a sewing machine that I have never used. I have drawn comic strips. Here’s a few more that still will not fully encompass all the things: video games, chess, hiking, yoga, weight lifting, martial arts, playing guitar, LARPing, painting, jazz dance, chorus, board games, stand up comedy, etc. What has stuck is a continual pursuit of all sorts of games, such as Dungeons and Dragons. Physical activity is also nice. Touching grass too.
Suffice it to say, I was not surprised that I was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago. I was only surprised that none of the prominent figures in my childhood, or other epochs, discovered this. Perhaps everyone did know and I just wasn’t in on the joke.
It is challenging to battle my attention span and be victorious. There are fleeting moments where novelty prevails. However, these moments add up into a larger problem where time seems to fly by without a commitment to any specific thing.
I am committing now.
So I am here, excited to explore writing with less reservations, to indulge in what is a great passion. This platform feels like the perfect place to start. I will use my distractions, my myriad experiences and interests, to fuel my writing.
In my writing, you will find an array of topics ranging from life experiences, personal opinion pieces and reflections, and discourse on whatever gives me a spark in real time. I believe this freedom in how I work will yield more results and decrease the task paralysis I have associated with writing.
Thank you, Kind Reader, for your audience. I hope to create articles that are interesting to you as well, even if mildly so.
